Role model? No. Human.

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Spiderman

I realized the meaning of this statement only recently. As a normal human being I never had any super power. Or so I thought.

I came across a situation recently which made me realize my power. And to say that it has been an eye opener would be an under statement.

Recently, what may have looked like a trivial incident for me apparently triggered a lot of emotions in a person who witnessed that incident.

As part of the conversation with him, I realized that, he has kept me in a much higher pedestal. And for him, seeing me handling this situation in a certain way shackled up his image about me, because he had expected me to handle this in a different way.

While I did acknowledge that I could have handled the situation better and mentioned that I have given myself that feedback immediately after that incident, I did feel that i have triggered a lot of anger in him. As part of the conversation, he said, "If I am at this level (showing a certain lower level), you are supposed to be at this level (showing a much higher level). Now, whatever you say, doesn't matter to me."

Though both of us moved on from this conversation, I just couldn't get this out of my head. Not because I got his feedback. But, the way in which he gave feedback with such an intense emotion. 

I wondered what triggered his emotions.

My biggest realization was that, I may have disappointed him by not standing up to his expectations from me. Not adhering to his "image" about me. I was his role model. An ideal role model. And he got to see the human side of me. He got to see my imperfections.  This affected him more than this affected me.

This has taken me to some fundamental questions:

1) People who help us learn and act as our inspirations and role models (from any field), how often are we being realistic about them? How often do we see them from ideal lens?

2) Why is it so difficult for us to see when our role models "fail" to behave in a certain way? Do we expect them to be beyond human who may never do any mistakes?

3) What does it take for us to see our role models as humans who are flawed beautifully and still trying to be better everyday?

So, the power I am talking about is the power to inspire. Power to help someone think and learn.

But, the responsibility that comes along with this power is to not drop that power even for a second.

Well, I must say, I am compelled to challenge this responsibility. 

To be honest, I would rather prefer to be a person who is imperfect and enjoys those imperfections than be a human being who struggles to keep up with an "unrealistic" image someone has about me.

I am flawed. Beautifully flawed and I own it.

Hence, I cannot promise perfection.

But, what I can promise is, I am learning. Forever. At my pace.

And It is ok.